Revealing the Concealed

Without wanting to sound like someone spouting overly simplistic, feel good statements, there is something to be said for letting your mind dwell on the good things in life. This was my experience on my walk this evening. I left around 4:30, after the minor drizzle we’d been having all day stopped, and planned out a route that included all the local errands I needed to do. Along the way, a few things that I enjoy about living here started standing out to me and I decided to pay a little more attention as I continued my jaunt. My list of things that left me with a fuller heart is as follows…

The funky orange jeep that I’ve posted a picture of here was on a different side street, but this time was filled with red flowers (I assume for Valentine’s Day). This made me smile.

Two different photographers were roaming about the street with really long lenses on their cameras, capturing the water and sun and clouds, all mingling together.

Half of the sky over the ocean was covered with dense clouds, the other half was clear. Sun was streaming through right at the dividing line and shone down in rays visible against the clouds, leaving patches of sparkling light on the surface of the water.

The post office was full of people, some of whom were speaking various different languages.  This town, as small as it is, seems to contain a high percentage of people from Europe and the UK. It’s fun to live somewhere that has both a sense of community and a cosmopolitan feel.

Rediscovery of an old book and record shop that I had forgotten about led me to some additional books for my art supplies. The $1 a book shelf out front was cheaper than books from the thrift stores, where they cost $2 or $3 a piece. Now I have somewhere small and local to support when I need more books.

The view at the top of the hill on the way back allows you to see the ocean and the houses leading down to it. I passed it just as the sky was starting to turn orange and the clouds were lighting up in different hues.

A chat with the owner of a local mini market a few blocks from home about how cold it had been today (yes, my friends from elsewhere, it did get cold today :) left me appreciating familiarity. Recognition of faces is nice in this day and age of living anonymously.

So, as small as each of these observations was on its own, taken together, they left me with a fuller heart. Gratitude seems to work that way, huh. It seems to have a cumulative effect…like, the more you allow it in, the more it grows.

I am so grateful for the expanse of the ocean and its crashing waves and salty air, for the never-ending calm it exudes. I especially love the ocean at night. It seems so majestic and still, both at the same time. It affords solitude and time to think, refreshment and relaxation. Visiting its shores is like a massage and a therapy session rolled into one. And the best part is, it’s free for the taking. It’s remembering to take that is the hard part.

This post is for my new nephew, Jacob. He is the first grandchild on my side of the family! What I love about him right off the bat is that he is adopted. I have always, always had a heart for adopted kids. I do not have children of my own, but if I did, they would most likely be adopted too. I also love his multiracial heritage, something that gives him a special uniqueness.

Jacob was born on Christmas day (fitting, given that my whole family was together this Christmas, celebrating the holiday and having no idea that a child was being born who was about to become a part of our future). He was born to parents who were dealing with pretty difficult and extreme circumstances, as is true for many children given up for adoption. So I am all the more glad that he’ll be taken into my brother and sister-in-law’s home, a big step in improving his quality of life. He now has a chance to thrive, not just survive (as would most likely have been the case if he was not adopted). How can you not feel excited about that? (And as a side note, I wish adoption was on more people’s radar…there are so many adults out there who desire children and so many children who need a home. Seems like a win-win option that is too often overlooked).

But, I’m not writing this post to talk about the benefits of adoption so much as I am writing it to celebrate Jacob’s birth, to celebrate his arrival into our family, and to say that I am so, so glad that I will get to be his aunt. He will be a precious nephew to me, deeply loved and deeply wanted. Welcome Jacob.

There are many ways to see in life. I guess these ways relate to the many dimensions through which we understand the world…the mind, the emotions, the physical body, the soul, etc. I’ve been thinking lately about the intellectual approach to life, as I’ve been interacting recently with some people who are very smart, witty, and mentally sharp. I enjoy these kinds of people, because in many ways I find them stimulating. However, I’ve been noticing again how empty the intellect can be if you don’t have a spiritual understanding that accompanies it.  You’re left with only the mind, and it is so fallible and limited and often repetitive. But things of the spirit have no limit. They are infinite. There are no bounds. There are always new depths to explore. To me, this is more fascinating. It is a totally different way of seeing, literally a different lens over the eyes that changes your perception of everything.

There is something that can be quite hard about receiving. This may sound surprising in some ways, because generally the idea of receiving is something everyone likes. Who doesn’t want to receive a gift, a paycheck, a compliment, a new friend, etc.? But sometimes I think it is hard to receive what we are offered, because we are fixated on what is not there. Or, we have a “better” idea of what we really want, and this better idea blinds us to seeing what we are being given. We fall prey to dictating our desires and then become victims to the unintended consequence of finding it hard to receive.

I find I can experience more joy in receiving good things in my life when I have surrendered my own desires. Now, surrender can be a dirty word for some, so to clarify, I’m not talking about giving up desires, becoming desire-less, or any distorted thinking like that. I’m talking about a surrender of desires that leads to freedom. Not a burying of them in the sand, but a holding of them loosely so that they don’t control so easily. (Because is it not true that anything we desire strongly has the propensity to control us?) So, we don’t become free from desire, we become free from its control.

Once this has happened (an often circuitous and arduous process for sure), I find I can more happily receive the gifts that come into my life. I am less likely to overlook them or take them for granted when they appear. I walk more easily into gratitude.

Ah, the mystique of Whole Foods. It gives off that “I am green, I am healthy, I am doing something to save the planet and the world by shopping here” vibe. To top it off, the Venice, CA location has two added components. First, half the people in the store at any given time of day are models or would-be actors, flaunting themselves and their bodies as they peruse the produce aisle and pick up kale and quinoa for their evening meal. It makes you feel like you should be wearing some kind of hip outfit, or at the very least, some make-up or some sort of scarf thrown about yourself in an artistic manner in an attempt to look half-way attractive. However, the model factor is nicely balanced by long-standing hippies from the community and the occasional homeless element, both of which tone down the glamor. At least a bit. Second, there are regular displays of art by local artists and live music on certain evenings. I discovered this the other day, as I ventured over in search of a certain natural supplement that will radically improve my well-being (as all natural supplements claim they will do). A live jazz trio was playing by the checkout lanes and their music echoed throughout the store. I was like, wow, not only am I superhealthy, supercommitted to the planet and supertrendy, I am also now supercultured. The live music made me feel an extra sense of refinement and subtly affirmed my decision to linger in the store and spend more money. In fact, there were so many illusions being propped up at one time, it was hard to keep track.

On the way out, customers will most likely pass the 99 cent store, which is located next door in the same shopping plaza. This immediately brings you back down to planet earth, even if you are still feeling good about your organic produce in your reusable hemp shopping bags. Nothing like two extremes to balance one another out. And actually, this is one of my favorite parts about urban life…a variety of people living in very close proximity. The jazz musicians and models and organic produce, and the bargain hunters and 99 cent merchandise, mixing and mingling, all forming a strange composite which I find fascinating.

I’m always interested in hearing people’s thoughts on what they would change in their lives if they could do them over again, or any significant regrets they have as they begin to reach their twilight years. I like to try and use any perspectives that resonate to make adjustments in my own life, small or big, in order to live my life in the fullest way possible.

I recently came across this anonymous person’s response to the question, “What is your most profound regret in life?”, and thought his insight was worth posting…

“Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I’ve ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing… Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away.”

And yet, there must be a reason that we rush, besides the fact that society encourages it. On some level, it must meet a need somewhere within us, otherwise we wouldn’t give in to the compulsion to move at breakneck speed. Maybe we rush to avoid discomfort or pain. Or we rush to forget. Or to fill a hole that won’t go away. Regardless of what it appears to satiate, rushing will only ever serve a function on the surface of our lives and will never manage to penetrate what is going on beneath. And more than that, it will keep us from every really experiencing life. And if we never truly experience life, think of all that we miss. To live in the unrushed moment and let it be enough…that is a difficult, but worthy pursuit.